It's All An Illusion

Colorful calibrachoa enjoying some sun in our container garden area.

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I do not have a green thumb. Much as I try to connect with my inner garden goddess, she remains elusive. Looking back to 2002, when I moved in with my now-husband, Joe, I recall being excited to try my hand at planting flowers and further developing the garden that he had already started. 

During our early dating days, we emailed. And he told me about planting ferns on the side of his house. About the peonies his sister gave him when he had moved in, and how they were growing. In my mind, he was an avid gardener. Certainly his sister was, she was breeding her own peony species! 

​Then I met his parents, and witnessed the garden his father had planted and cultivated in their yard. I was surrounded by gardeners.  They were inspiring. I wanted to be one.  

My father-in-law, Gabe, with one of the roses he cultivated in his home garden.

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After a couple years, I came up with an idea for the tiny backyard we had. I would divide the backyard lawn in half, by a river shaped garden. Then remove the back end of the grass and put in a pea gravel patio.  It was a lot of work, but it worked out fairly well.  I can honestly say I did most of the work myself, with the use of a manual kick plow to remove sections of grass, and shoveling a half-ton of pea gravel in.  I would pick out plants to install, and Joe would caution me if he thought I'd made a bad choice. But, sometimes, I did it anyway, and paid the price later on when it either died, or ran amok, spreading everywhere. 

The worst part was the pea gravel patio.  While it was initially a wonderful place to hang out on a warm summer evening, after several years, the weeds cropping up in the gravel drove me insane. It was exhausting trying to keep up with them. So, I finally shoveled up all the pea gravel, and put down new landscape fabric. There! I thought. That should do it!  But it didn't. And they came back as strong as ever.  Turns out I should have replaced the pea gravel entirely, or washed it, to rid it of invasive seeds. I had no idea that was even possible. I won't even reminisce about the mistakes I made in the front garden, which the preceding homeowners of the house promptly removed and replaced with grass.

I aspire to be a good gardener, but I also expect it to naturally come to me. I'll just clear my mind and let the inner organic nature of gardening happen.  No can do.

My first garden design - a riverbend shape with mostly perennials, and a pea gravel patio.

Some of my early plant choices worked, some didn't. The pea gravel was great, until the weeds showed up in droves a few years later.

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When we moved to the house we live in now, just a short distance from the first house, it came with a much bigger backyard, and a semi-established garden.  Some good stuff, some not so good. Plenty of creeping charlie, clover, and mint. 

But there was also lots of native purple coneflower, black-eyed susan, solomon's seal, virginia waterleaf, purple phlox, and eastern bluestar. Wildlife and pollinator friendly, blooms into autumn, seedheads as food for the birds all winter. 

There was plenty of room for more. And our goal was to create a certified wildlife habitat in the backyard. So one by one we added plants. I would keep the tags that came with the plants, and put them on a large o-ring for reference.

​The ring filled up. And a good half of the plants that I added to our garden made their way through the growing season. Then never returned.

The west (right side) of the garden bed has some natives, going strong.

The east (left) side of the raised garden bed, where new plants grow, then vanish forever...

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Early in the new year, with the advent of spring on the horizon, I start to envision changes and additions to the garden. I have all kinds of ideas, Pinterest boards, bookmarked tips and tricks for native planting. I also have no memory of what is what. I don't know how anyone can look at a seedling leaf and tell you just what plant is coming up. 

​We have a lot of the same things that come up each year, good and annoying. You would think I would recall what they look like, so I know first-off in the next growing season to just pluck those annoyances out the second I spot them rising from the soil. But I always end up taking photos and using a plant identification app to determine what they are, and whether or not they can stay.  Usually it's still too early to get a good read on the leaves and stalk, so they grow further and I try again.  

Purple coneflower, one of the natives we can count on returning each year. The birds and pollinators love it.

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Our first spring in the new yard we watched as the second tier of the garden started filling up. Things grew taller and taller. We were able to identify a few things. But some of the others we weren't sure, so we let them continue a while.

Then my husband's sister came to visit and told us we had a lot of ragweed out there. Ragweed?! Although it is a native plant, it can be very invasive, very large, and outcompetes other plants. It's also a major allergen source. 

​I pulled for what seemed like days, trying to remove it all before it went to seed. The following couple springs I did the same. So far it doesn't seem to have as strong of a hold.

Some days the gloves go on, and the weeding begins.

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Some days the dramas and necessities of life take over, and tending the garden, working on those projects, falls by the wayside. Just trying to keep up at all is difficult. This spring the migrant birds did not show up in our backyard habitat like they usually do.  That week or so when the migrants fill up our backyard never happened, and it saddens me. I was so looking forward to it. 

So, some days I avoid the garden altogether. I become overwhelmed by my lack of expertise. By my mistakes in choosing plants, or not choosing just the right spot for planting them. There is a growing movement to plant native, to garden for wildlife, and we are on board with that. We have planted many natives. But we have to work with what we have and go from there. And some days it just seems like it will never come together. 

​We attended a Wild Ones Native Gardening Tour event last summer, and it was extremely helpful to talk to other folks who have been through the process. We heard much of the same advice from all the gardens/gardeners we visited - be patient. Even if we had an unlimited budget, developing a natural habitat doesn't happen overnight. 

Building a garden takes time. Native plant gardening is no different. Patience is key.

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So, we're trying to be patient. Breaking it down into smaller projects. Container gardening on the patio, a good spot for annuals and satisfying with seasonal color. I'm mixing in some annual seeds, too, within the containers. So they will be hearty and full through fall.

​Again, there goes that false sense of natural connection to nature I keep pretending I have. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. But a packet of annual seeds is a bargain investment, so...

Container gardening with some colorful, pollinator friendly annuals does provide some low-risk satisfaction.

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I've been cleaning up two of the in-ground gardens next to the patio. Not a lot of natives in those, but we will add some in.

The hostas are doing well, and the native coreopsis are happy. We've started adding some tree stumps into the garden vignettes for design and function. They also provide a good source of insects for the birds. 

I have several of these garden vignettes to attend to, and a lot of weeding in my immediate future. I'm hoping that as each project moves forward I'll feel more positive vibes, and a sense of accomplishment. Something good to reflect on while I'm soaking my weary muscles after weeding and planting all day.

​And maybe, as summer progresses, the blooms of my labor will appear. And maybe, come fall, so will the southbound migrant birds as well.

Framing out one of the gardens with fallen tree branches has an organic, interesting look.

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Holding out hope that the spring migrants that missed our habitat pay us a visit in the fall.