Unfolding Gratitude

The unfolding of a Calendula bloom in the garden this fall.

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I should have gone out for a hike today. Anywhere. It's the last day of September, it's beautiful outside, and I need the exercise. I need to get out my camera and feed my creativity. Enjoy the glorious season of autumn. But it's been a week. A week of unexpected, challenging responsibilities, the loss of a dear family pet, and the resulting sadness, frustration, and brain fog that comes from all of that. I've had to put my passion for TheParkNextDoor on hold a lot this year, for various reasons, and, honestly, some days that just makes me crabby and depressed.

No matter how I try, I can't seem to take this mission to the next level - which is simply to share with more people the beauty of all the green spaces in Wisconsin, and maybe cover some of the expenses of doing so by selling some prints on my Fine Art America site.  I keep plugging on. Trying to at least get out occasionally to a familiar park, or sneak in a new one. But, I'm not gonna lie, it has been more of a challenge this year than I would like. 

I've dedicated a good portion of my remaining energy this past summer to cultivating the garden in our backyard. And I have been gifted with some surprises that have managed to sustain me on days where I am weary of things. I had doubts that I could grow anything from seed, and it turns out, happily, that I can. So, I'm going to put that in the win column. Even if I did make plenty of mistakes.

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Just sitting on the patio on a decent day, looking out across the garden, watching the birds come and go, and the advent of flowers rising from dirt, has been a saving grace on many days this summer. So, I'm going to step away from this doom and gloom and share some of the unexpected pleasures that have buoyed me up when I feel I'm drowning.

Did you know that Calendula blooms open in the morning and close at night? I had no idea. It's as if they know to rest, that they are versed in self-care. They have been one of the best surprises in my garden this summer.

I've never grown them before, I sowed my flower garden late, and now they are finally blooming. Little by little. I wish I had planted more of them. Next year I definitely will. 

Calendula flower in full bloom.

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The spring migrants seemed to bypass us this year, and the fall ones so far, too. But there have been a couple hummingbirds hanging around all summer, buzzing my head on occasion while working in the garden.

​And plenty of other pollinators visiting, too.  It's good to know we are doing our part to feed the bees and butterflies, and more.

A female Ruby-throated hummingbird feeding at the Honeysuckle Vine.

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It's the little things, like baby bunnies that run through the yard. Or hide out underneath the hostas on a hot summer day. I love that they feast on dandelion leaves. 

A baby bunny grabbing some shade beneath the hostas on a hot summer day.

Baby bunnies feast on dandelion leaves in our backyard garden.

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I've loved watching the baby birds of some of our regular backyard birds grow over the season. Juvenile American Robins, in particular, with their spotted chests, are a favorite. And bees and butterflies, we've had lots of those this season.

A juvenile American Robin on a summer evening.

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We've plenty of squirrels in the yard. They are always fun to watch. But this summer the chipmunks have ruled, when it comes to entertainment. We have a total of three that I've seen. One favors the leftovers from the bird feeders. The other two have taken to finding peanuts and sunflower seeds that I hide around the patio.

​Recently, one of them has been visiting when I'm outside working, or sitting at the patio table. It took a while, but I've been able to get him to take a peanut from my hand. I love watching them stuff their cheeks full of peanuts before dashing off to stash them for the winter. And I've discovered my new favorite sound - the sound of peanuts rattling in the shell inside the cheeks of a chipmunk as it scurries off to hide them for later.

Recently I made a little autumn display with mini pumpkins on top of a flower pot and saucer. I filled it with peanuts and enjoyed the comings and goings of my two little friends as they stocked up. I'm going to miss them when they head into their burrows for the bulk of the winter, but at least I know they will be well fed.

This week, after my 13-yr old pet parakeet, Browser, passed away, I was devastated. It was sudden, and she has been with us a long time. She was an incredibly sweet bird. Tough, too. So it was quite a shock when she passed away so suddenly.  I've been through this many times, and it really never gets any easier. In fact, each time I've lost a pet bird, I grieve all the others again. That's just the way grief goes.

So, when I stepped outside the next day, for a few minutes, in-between the raindrops, Buddy, one of the chipmunks, showed up. And I handed him some peanuts. He scurried off to hide them, and came back for more. We did this a few times. It didn't make me forget my loss, but it lightened the load for a bit. And for that I am grateful.